FWB: Friends with Benefits

Friends with Benefits...have you ever heard the term? It is friends who "hook up" but who are not dating or committed in any way. For guys this sounds like the perfect arrangement, no commitment, no spending money on her, no having to tell her she looks good with no make up on. And for some women, who do not want a boyfriend at the moment but want someone there when it is convenient. 60% of college students admit to having a friend with benefits or FWB at some time. The appeal is the excitement of an affair and the guilt free feeling that no one is getting hurt because it is "no strings attached". This is the subject of the movie with the same title "No Strings Attached" starring Ashton Kutcher and Natalie Portman which came out earlier this year. Adam (Ashton Kutcher) and Emma (Natalie Portman) have been friends forever but when they start a friends with benefits relationship, Adam begins to fall for her despite the "ground rules" they had established. Emma's fear of commitment complicates their friendship and feelings and hearts get broken in the process. The real question is...can people have purely physical non committed relationships without falling in love?

PsychCentral says women have a hard time in these relationships because it requires a separation with love. Also it is in the way men and women think, men are engineered to shop around while women want to find the perfect gift buy it and keep it forever. Characteristically women want commitment while men like freedom. This is not always the case, roles can be reversed, but it poses a problem in FWB relationships. According to Michael Castleman who wrote an article on the topic. FWB relationships change usually within the first 6 months: 36% remained just friends, 10% began an actual relationship, and 26% ended their friendship. In addition to these statistics, those surveyed by Castleman listed the disadvantages of an FWB relationship. They were, developing romantic feelings, risking the friendship, lack of commitment, and feeling guilty.

It seems the disadvantages of a Friends with Benefits relationship outweigh the advantages but college students continue to develop these kinds of relationships. Though this type of relationship has been around since the 60's, it continues to change the way young people view love because it condones a separation of the romantic aspect and the physical aspect. In the end though doesn't everyone want love?

Ivy League Starts in Preschool

A woman is suing her daughter's preschool which comes with a $19,000 a year tuition for holding her 4 year old back with the 3 year olds. The mother Nicole Imprescia claims that "getting a child into the Ivy League Schools starts in nursery school". She also does not want her daughter Lucia to be in the same class as the 3 year olds where according to her there is an undue emphasis on "shapes and colors".

Imprescia seems to believe in her heart of hearts that her daughter's preschool education will make a huge difference in whether her daughter gets into Harvard or not. Learning colors and shapes it seems are not the proper criteria for the knowledge Lucia Imprescia needs to know for her bright future. Unless there is some revolutionary new technology that creates mini super geniuses in this preschool, Imprescia is wasting her money. The children are too young to learn the knowledge that would prepare them for an Ivy League school. Preschool prepares them for Kindergarten which prepares them for elementary school which prepares them for middle school then high school then college. Imprescia is skipping quite a few important steps in her anticipation for her daughter's success. It is great to have dreams and goals for your children but Imprescia takes it to a whole different level. She does not need to spend $19,000 a year on a preschool, rather she should save that money to allow her to go to a college prep school or even start a college fund for Lucia. If her daughter is not meant to go to an Ivy League school it is not the end of the world, millions of people find success in other colleges and universities. I just feel sorry for this little girl who will be subject to her mother's constant pressure and high expectations probably because she never lived up to her own in the first place.

Bravest Woman In Mexico Flees

Marisol Valles Garcia, the young woman who made international headlines when she became the police chief of Praxedis G. Guerrero, Mexico was fired this week after fleeing to Texas. The 20 year old college criminology student was called "the bravest woman in Mexico" when she agreed to take the job that was left vacant for more than a year because of the constant danger of drug cartels seeking to overtake the border city. After months of death threats, Valles Garcia was seen entering El Paso, Texas. She is now seeking asylum in the U.S.

This story illustrates how bad the drug war is in Mexico. Desperation is a motive for many courses of action in Mexico these days. Desperation led the Mexican government to hire a young woman to a dangerous position that would almost certainly lead to her death. Desperation led that same brave young woman to flee to the United States. Though it was courageous for Valles Garcia to even take the job of police chief, the odds were definitely against her. She was just 20 years old and still in college and she agreed to take on the drug gangs who could certainly kill her in an instant. The situation in Mexico calls for highly trained and courageous officials with a vast amount of experience and unfortunately Valles Garcia could not keep going with the amount of danger she was in. The question is...is there anyone who can?

Fascist Fashion Industry?

Recently Rhonda Garelick of the New York Times revealed the anti-Semetic rants of fashion designer  John Galliano who reportedly was caught on camera phone drunkenly informing a diner "I love Hitler". He also told a woman who was NOT Jewish that she had a "dirty Jewish face" and "Your boots are of the lowest quality, your thighs are of the lowest quality. You are so ugly I don't want to see you." He then "invited her to die". Garelick says fascism and the fashion industry have many parallels, like the anti-democratic dictates of "oracular, charismatic leaders" who beckon their followers to join a "cult of perfection" where beauty is defined by Aryan features, eternal youth, and thin, athletic bodies. Garelick ends by saying Galliano's anti-semetic outbursts are "an eloquent expression of the fashion industry's disdain for the great, unwashed masses".

I agree with Garelick on two things...the first that John Galliano is an anti-Semetic idiot and second that the fashion industry focuses on thin, athletic bodies and eternal youth. Besides these two points I disagree with everything else Garelick said. The idea that the fashion industry is an extension of fascism is very far fetched to me. Garelick seems to make Galliano the Hitler of Fashion and the Fashion industry is own personal Nazi party. To make this comparison to skinny people who walk around in expensive clothes to me is an inappropriate generalization. Everyone in the fashion industry is not an anti-Semetic idiot like Galliano and not everyone in the fashion industry has the same ideals or views as people like Galliano. Garelick's generalization that everyone in the fashion industry will be brainwashed just as the Germans were brain washed by Hitler is again far fetched. One aspect of the fashion industry that I have always disagreed with is the eating disorder epidemic encompassing it. It is true that models starve themselves and throw up their food to remain thin but beauty is not defined by Aryan features in the fashion industry. There are many non- Caucasian fashion icons including Tyra Banks, Naomi Campbell, and Iman. Though I do not agree with everything that goes on in the fashion world I have more respect for those who do work in this industry to believe that they all believe the same things that Galliano does and that they all have "disdain for the great, unwashed masses" which would include me.

Hard Hit: Concussions and High School Athletes

Attack on Japan

In the past week, Japan was rocked by a tsunami AND a 9.0 earthquake, the most severe ever recorded in Japan. The death toll has now surpassed 10,000 with thousands of people injured and still missing. The Japanese prime minister called the recent events Japan's worst crisis since World War II. The tsunami and the earthquake have wiped out whole cities such as the city of Minamisanrikucho and with it many resources such as electricity, drinking water, and food. Those who have survived must wait to be rescued, sometimes hanging on for life for days. Employees at the nuclear power plants are also working to ensure nuclear waste does not spill into the water and spread throughout the country. If this were to occur, the results would be even more disastrous.
The Japanese governement has sent 100,000 soldiers to help in the relief effort. They have handed out 120,000 blankets, 120,000 bottles of water, and 29,000 gallons of gasoline plus food to the affected areas. Many countries have offered aid and relief to Japan. The U.S. has sent rescue personnel and dog teams to help those affected by the disasters as well. Japanese prime minister Naoto Kan said how Japan is able to recover from this tragedy will define the country. As aid and relief continue to flow to Japan, all are anxious to see if the country can get back on its feet again eventually. As the future unfolds, our prayers go out to the victims living and deceased who have been affected by this tragedy.

St. Patrick's Day History

St. Patrick is widely known throughout the world as the patron saint of Ireland. Many also know the legend that he drove out all the snakes of Ireland, but beyond that who is St. Patrick?  The patron saint of Ireland was actually born in Britain and according to History.com he did not come from a particularly religious family. At 16, Patrick was taken prisoner by Irish raiders and held captive in Ireland for 6 years. In this time of isolation and fear, he turned to his religion for comfort and became a devout Christian. He eventually escaped to Britain but returned to Ireland after he was told by an angel in a dream that he was to become a missionary. In order to convert the Irish, he chose to incorporate traditional ritual into his lessons of Christianity.  St. Patrick died on Mar. 17, which is his feast day still today.

            The celebration of St. Patrick’s Day began in America in the 1700’s by Irish indentured servants. The festivities began as a way for them to show how proud they were of their Irish background. Celebrations and festivities for the celebration of Mar. 17 did not begin in Ireland until the 1900’s. According to Junior Shannon Pierson, who has a strong Irish background and won the title of 2011 Arizona Irish Lass for her excellence in Irish dancing, “In Ireland, St. Patrick’s Day is more of a religious holiday though there are festivals and parades”. The community goes to mass and then celebrates by having a drink or attending a festival. The religious aspect of the holiday that still holds true in Ireland is disregarded by Americans. In the U.S., Americans celebrate St. Patty’s Day by going to pubs and wearing green “Kiss Me I’m Irish” shirts, “people focus mainly on wearing green and partying to celebrate St. Patrick’s Day in America” says Pierson. Also to celebrate, the city of Chicago dyes the Chicago River green (a tradition which started in 1962) and the White House dyes the fountain green as well. However St. Patrick’s Day is celebrated it is clear that this saint will not be forgotten anytime soon because it seems everyone is having too much fun commemorating him!

Delaney Discusses Cons of Communication through Technology

Sam Delaney of "The Guardian" in the UK wrote a column entitled "The lost art of direct confrontation" in which he criticizes the British who have become "a cowardly lot" due to their reliance on technology. More and more, people are using technology instead of face to face confrontation even Phil Collins who dumped his wife by fax in 1994. Bosses fire employees over email, boyfriends and girlfriends dump their significant other over text and if something makes us mad we write a mean comment on that person's Facebook wall. Delaney begs the British to "Just get up, walk across the room, and have it out with the person using the mouth, tongue, and larynx God gave you!"

I agree with Delaney that people are relying much too heavily on technology for communication, not just the British but everywhere around the world. Confrontation can be awkward and uncomfortable in person and technology gives the person a wall to stand behind saying the things they need to say without seeing the other person's expression. Direct confrontation could even lead to blow up arguments or even fights, and arguments over text and email are a lot less uncomfortable than in person. For one, it gives the person time to think of the perfect come back and take time in what they will say next. It also takes away seeing the other person's expression which can also be uncomfortable. In effect technology gives people courage much in the same way alcohol gives them "liquid courage". People say things they normally wouldn't over technology outlets because the consequences are not immediate.

This reliance on technology for confrontation is not good. People should fend themselves off of technology and learn how to communicate again though it is easy to use technology for a majority of communication. Teenagers today text a lot more than they talk on the phone or sometimes even in person. Confrontation needs to be practiced in person because it shows that the person has enough respect for the other by saying it to their face. Awkward and uncomfortable moments cannot always be avoided and if everyone keeps hiding behind technology they will have no idea how to react when the moment comes. 

Jesus, Mary You're the Best..Help Me Please to Pass this Test: Pre Test Practices to Avoid Anxiety

Test taking is a way for teachers to evaluate the progress of their students in any subject of learning. Though, for students, tests are a point of stress and anxiety. Especially during the treacherous Junior Year of high school where students seek to navigate the unfriendly waters of standardized college entrance exams, test anxiety can reach a peak. Being anxious about a test before or during the test can lead a student to blank on the test and receive a less than desirable score. There are many tips and practices to help students avoid test anxiety and become confident in their test taking abilities.

Much of the time test anxiety is a result of not feeling prepared. Much of the time students procrastinate and are not able to study effectively. "Cramming" is a common practice among students who either do not have efficient time management or have a very busy schedule. At Xavier, it is common to see students in the hallways with their faces buried in a book in hopes of securing the sometimes elusive "A" grade on the test.

To avoid stress and anxiety during a test, Study Guides and Strategies.net recommends studying thoroughly before hand...NOT just the night before until 2 am or for 10 minutes during break. Approach the exam with confidence and use strategies for success such as self encouragement (in this case it would be acceptable to talk to yourself). Avoid negativity and allow plenty of time to take the test today, it is not important who finishes the exam first.

Other helpful practices include exercise (which sharpens the mind) and a good night's rest the night before the exam. Do not go to the exam on an empty stomach but rather eat fresh fruits and vegetables which reduce stress. I personally like to pray before a big exam because it eases my nerves and helps me think more clearly. Many practices are useful to overcome test anxiety and it is something that must be worked on over time. Students should try multiple practices, see which one works for them and continue to use it to drastically reduce their stress before tests.