Friends with Benefits...have you ever heard the term? It is friends who "hook up" but who are not dating or committed in any way. For guys this sounds like the perfect arrangement, no commitment, no spending money on her, no having to tell her she looks good with no make up on. And for some women, who do not want a boyfriend at the moment but want someone there when it is convenient. 60% of college students admit to having a friend with benefits or FWB at some time. The appeal is the excitement of an affair and the guilt free feeling that no one is getting hurt because it is "no strings attached". This is the subject of the movie with the same title "No Strings Attached" starring Ashton Kutcher and Natalie Portman which came out earlier this year. Adam (Ashton Kutcher) and Emma (Natalie Portman) have been friends forever but when they start a friends with benefits relationship, Adam begins to fall for her despite the "ground rules" they had established. Emma's fear of commitment complicates their friendship and feelings and hearts get broken in the process. The real question is...can people have purely physical non committed relationships without falling in love?
PsychCentral says women have a hard time in these relationships because it requires a separation with love. Also it is in the way men and women think, men are engineered to shop around while women want to find the perfect gift buy it and keep it forever. Characteristically women want commitment while men like freedom. This is not always the case, roles can be reversed, but it poses a problem in FWB relationships. According to Michael Castleman who wrote an article on the topic. FWB relationships change usually within the first 6 months: 36% remained just friends, 10% began an actual relationship, and 26% ended their friendship. In addition to these statistics, those surveyed by Castleman listed the disadvantages of an FWB relationship. They were, developing romantic feelings, risking the friendship, lack of commitment, and feeling guilty.
It seems the disadvantages of a Friends with Benefits relationship outweigh the advantages but college students continue to develop these kinds of relationships. Though this type of relationship has been around since the 60's, it continues to change the way young people view love because it condones a separation of the romantic aspect and the physical aspect. In the end though doesn't everyone want love?
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